Happy Valentine's Day?

With all the loss in the world, we get desensitized to hurt. I think we are all guilty of reading about a horrible car crash or murder or natural disaster and thinking, "Gee, that is so sad." But by later in the day, we've moved on and don't even think about the repercussions following those tragedies, unless they happen to us directly.

Today, lovers all over the world celebrate Valentine's Day. For many of those we serve, this will be the first Valentine's Day without their beloved. It will be a day of pain...a day of remembering...a day we wish would hurry up and disappear. Those "firsts" that you have to go through (not, ignore)are very difficult and seem like fuel is being added to the fire for many.

Others are enjoying the day and planning for ways to honor their someone special while you may be pulling the covers over your head as you cry your eyes out. That is OK. That is normal. Grief is a process...a long and difficult journey to go through.

So my wish for you on this day of love, is that you know that you are loved. Even if you feel completely alone and ache for your loved one, you are thought about by those of us at MADD. You are thought about by one who has walked in your shoes...me.

A chapter in my life closes

Nineteen years ago next month, my life changed forever. Last Wednesday, October 20, a chapter in my life was permanently closed when as I held her hand, my first mother-in-law, Gwende Dean, died at age 75.

Drunk driving effects more than just those killed or injured in the crash. It effects everyone in the extended circle for years and years. Especially when the one killed was an only child.

My husband, Mike Dean, was that only child who was killed in a crash on November 21, 1991 at the young age of 32. Mike and his mom were close since she had raised him as a single mom. At the time of Mike's death, we had only been married two and a half years and our daughter was only 8 months old. Immediately following his death, I became her replacement child and I felt a great obligation to look after her. I have tried to do that for the last nineteen years.

When Gwende was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2007 and later with a small brain tumor, we knew the prognosis was fatal. She fought valiantly and never complained. Her goal was to see our daughter finish high school. She did live to see that, although she was too weak to attend the ceremony.

My family moved back to Texas earlier this year in some part to be closer to her as her life slipped away. Many trips were made to visit with her before she got to the point where she couldn't talk or use her motor skills any longer. Calls were made frequently to check with her caregiver to see how she was doing.

When I received the call on Oct. 17 that she had stopped taking food or water, I packed my car for the 4 hour drive north to her home. For over two days I sat beside her bed and read her the sports page because her team, the Texas Rangers, were finally in the ALCS playoffs. I had the TV on to the game last Monday evening in case she might hear any of it even though she was semi-comatose. I wanted her to know that her team was going to the World Series for the first time ever--so much so, that I told her they were in the Series even though they weren't at that point!

Gwende, or G.G. as we affectionately called her, breathed her last breath and stepped into eternity at 9:55 a.m. last Wednesday. She was finally reunited with her son--the one she loved and had missed so desperately for the last 19 years!

People who choose to drive drunk never consider how lives are impacted. They never stop to think that a Mom had to live with the grief of losing her only child. They never stop to think about a little girl who never had a chance to know her daddy Mike. They never stop to think that the ultimate stress that is put on a body through the grief process might--I believe DID--lead to cancer in a grieving mother.

Grief regurgitated...grief re-lived. A chapter in our lives has closed with the death of Gwende Dean. May she finally rest in peace.

Online Candlelight Vigil for Drunk Driving Victims/Survivors

During the holiday season, MADD will be hosting an online candlelight vigil in honor of victims/survivors of drunk driving crashes. Light a virtual candle and submit a tribute message to a loved one or friend impacted by drunk driving. You can even have the tribute e-mailed to the person or family being honored.

Driver Arrested in Fatal Indianapolis Crash Had 4 Previous DUIs

According to an article in The Indianapolis Star, an Indiana man convicted four times on drunk driving charges was arrested again this week, after police say his blood-alcohol level was 0.11 after he slammed into the car of a 70-year-old woman, killing her.

People continue to drive drunk because they can. Studies have shown that ignition interlocks are an average of 64 percent effective in reducing repeat drunk driving offenses. Contact your lawmakers and urge them to support ignition interlocks for all convicted drunk drivers.

Three Young Lives Cut Abruptly Short in Illinois, in a Crash Caused by an Accused Repeat Drunk Driver

Amanda Jahn, 27, and her children Ryan, 3, and Kaitlyn, 11 months were laid to rest Tuesday, following a crash caused by a suspected repeat drunk driver. The accused offender was charged with four counts of aggravated driving under the influence and ordered held in lieu of $1 million bail. Read the complete story from the Chicago Tribune.

Beginning in January 2009, alcohol ignition interlocks will be mandatory for all convicted drunk drivers in the state of Illinois, one of only eight states that require or highly incentivize interlocks for all convicted DUI offenders.

Help us reduce the number of drunk driving fatalities where you live – and nationwide. Contact your lawmakers and urge them to support ignition interlocks for all convicted drunk drivers.

A Soldier’s Service & Life Cut Short by a Drunk Driver

On Veteran’s Day, America honors our service men and women.
Everyday, MADD honors victims of drunk driving.

Jason Brian Carder, age 21, lucked out when he got his plum assignment to join the U.S. Army Calvary Scouts, stationed at Schofield Barracks in Honolulu, Hawaii. His goal was to qualify for the GI Bill so he could study at the the University of Florida in Gainesville with his younger brother Nate.

On August 10, 1997, while heading to the beach with three buddies to celebrate their pal Eric’s birthday, Eric grew tired and pulled the car over on the shoulder to switch drivers. Before he could even get out of the car, a drunk driver slammed into the back of their car, killing Jason instantly.

Read Jason's story.

After His Son Danny’s Death, Caused by an Underage Drunk Driver, Former New Jersey Mayor Bob Nulman Dedicated His Time to Eliminating Drunk Driving

When Bob Nulman was mayor of Clinton, New Jersey, he figured the police chief and police commissioner knocking on his door were there on city business. Instead, he was devastated to learn that his 22 year-old son, Danny, and four fraternity brothers from Trenton State College had been killed by an underage drunk driver in an I-95 head-on collision.

Read Danny Nulman's story.

Fighting in Honor of Carlos Cordero, Drunk Driving Victim

On Father’s Day, June 18, 2006, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 26 year-old Carlos Cordero was killed by a drunk driver who ran a red light on a residential street.

His family was devastated after his death, but his sister Sally was determined to fight for justice for Carlos. She contacted MADD as soon as she heard the prosecutor was hoping for a two-to-three-year sentence for killing her brother and injuring three others. She was appalled by a past conviction sheet of similar charges that MADD showed her, noting that some offenders only got parole or a year in jail.

With the community’s support, Carlos’ family stayed united and succeeded. The drunk driving offender was sentenced to 26 years, spending 12 years without any possibility of parole or good behavior.

Read all of the Cordero family's story.

Convicted Drunk Driver Held on Intoxication Manslaughter in Deaths of Dallas Grandmother, Granddaughter

A Dallas, Texas grandmother and her 1-year-old granddaughter were hit by an alleged drunk driver over the weekend. Read the complete story from The Dallas Morning News.

Contact your lawmakers and urge them to require alcohol ignition interlocks for all convicted DUI offenders.

Repeat DUI Offender Held on Murder and Suspicion of DUI in Deaths of Mother and Daughter

Wichita police believe a drunk driver was to blame for the deaths of a mother and her daughter as the pair walked into a Wichita school. The suspect has had four previous DUIs. Read the complete story from KSN.

Ignition interlocks might have prevented this tragedy. Contact your lawmakers and urge them to require alcohol ignition interlocks for all convicted DUI offenders.

Two Sisters Honor Their Brother’s Death in a Drunk Driving Crash by Volunteering as MADD Victim Advocates

When 33-year-old Lester Clark was killed in a 1992 drunk driving crash, it devastated his four older sisters and their mother. Lester's sisters Pat McCollum and Penny Clark wish they’d known MADD was available to help at the time. In the year’s since, these dynamic women have turned their grief into action as volunteers and victim advocates for MADD in Kentucky and Indiana. They were honored with the 2008 Brenda Altman Heart of MADD Presidential Award, given annually to MADD volunteer victim advocates for their accomplishments in demonstrating initiative, creativity and caring to promote healing and growth for drunk driving crash victims.

Read the sisters’ complete story.

MADD National Conference Kicks Off in Dallas

Hundreds of MADD advocates, staff, volunteers and law enforcement are gathered in Dallas for the next three days for MADD’s National Conference – Campaign 2008: Join the MADDness!. The conference will focus on MADD’s mission to stop drunk driving, support the victims of this violent crime and prevent underage drinking.

MADD’s new national president Laura Dean-Mooney, whose husband was killed by a drunk driver in North Texas in 1991, will join other experts to highlight MADD’s Campaign to Eliminate Drunk Driving which features the tools and technology needed to completely wipe out drunk driving.

A Daughter Never Forgotten; A Family Forever Changed – Drunk Driving Victim Ginger Walker

Ginger Walker's parents care for her son Shaye after Ginger's death in a drunk driving crash

“It’s tough being responsible for someone else’s child, guessing if you’re doing the right thing,” says Nina Walker, new member of MADD’s National Board of Directors. “We wonder, ‘What would Ginger do?’”

Ginger, 22, was killed in a three-car crash caused by a drunk driver on February 11, 2001. Nina and her husband Gary have been raising their grandson Shaye ever since their daughter’s death. The offender was speeding, chasing and bumping another car carrying his fiancée. He is still serving a 14-year sentence for his conviction of gross vehicular manslaughter with gross bodily injury or death.

“It really blew apart our family for a time. We were each retreating into our own issues of grief,” says Nina. “We had to make sense out of something so nonsensical. We were a fractured family unit – we have moved forward – not to what it was, but mended as a family.” Read the Walker family's story.

As Grandparents Day approaches, consider making a donation to MADD in honor of your grandparents or other special people whose presence in your life has made a difference.

Newlyweds Killed by Suspected Drunk Driver with Previous DWIs

A crash in Dallas over Labor Day weekend, caused by a suspected repeat drunk driving offender, killed a young married couple and injured an SUV full of SMU students. Read the complete story from The Dallas Morning News.

MADD supports ignition interlocks for all convicted drunk drivers. In the coming legislative session, MADD will urge lawmakers to implement sobriety checkpoints in Texas – one of only ten states that prohibits their use.

Far-Reaching Effects of Drunk Driving

A Courageous Family Carries on After the Death of a Beloved Mother, Daughter and Sister in a Drunk Driving Crash

When someone is killed in a drunk driving crash, family and friends are clearly devastated. In some families, the far-reaching impact of such a death seems endless. The case of 32-year-old Michelle Tull, of Madill, Oklahoma is one example.

Those most affected by her traumatic October 18, 2004 death were her immediate family – her parents, her three children and her three siblings, including a twin brother. The crash also changed another life forever: drunk driver Craig McClain, Michelle’s husband, who was convicted of first-degree manslaughter and sentenced to serve four years.

Read Michelle's story and learn more about free Victims Services provided by MADD.

Denver Ready to Walk Like MADD

Walk Like MADD, the signature walk of Mothers Against Drunk Driving, a fun, community-driven 5K event that raises funds and saves lives is scheduled for Saturday, August 2 at 8:30 a.m. in Sloan's Lake Park in Denver.

Find out more about the Walk in support of MADD's Campaign to Eliminate Drunk Driving.

Drunk Driving Crash Victim Jackson Vogel's Story

Friends and family have endured three painful years since Jackson Vogel of Fayetteville N.C. was killed in a one-car drunk driving crash. Ironically, early in the the morning of May 29, 2005, Jackson chose not to go to another bar with a group in Charlotte, where he was visiting a friend. But the 21-year-old Appalachian State University student did chose to get a ride home with his friend’s roommate, who was drunk. Read Jackson's story.

Drunk Driving Crashes Leave Many Victims: Remembering Mickey Barnett

In addition to the emotional toll she and her family have endured, Marilyn Barnett has also taken on plenty of extra responsibility since her oldest son “Mickey” died in a drunk driving crash.

At the time of the February 10, 2005 crash in Evansville, Indiana, Mickey was the proud father of a 3-month-old girl named Kaydance. “Part of my joy as a grandmother was watching Mickey with her,” says Marilyn. “I feel cheated.” Read Mickey Barnett's story.

From Tragedy to Triumph: Laura Dean-Mooney Named MADD National President

Every month, 1,000 families must deal with the tragic consequences of losing a loved one to drunk driving. Newly announced MADD National President Laura Dean-Mooney knows the reality of that statistic all too well. Nearly 17 years ago, a drunk driver killed her husband Mike, leaving her to raise their 8-month old daughter, Tara, alone. Laura has used her devastating experiences to help prevent others from facing death or injury as a result of drunk driving, donating her time and talents to MADD. Read Laura's story.

Death of Family by Drunk Driving Falls on Deaf Ears

Some drivers are still driving drunk, even after Michael Gagnon received a 43-year sentence last Friday for killing nearly an entire family while driving drunk. Read the complete story from WTOL, Toledo.