February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day?

With all the loss in the world, we get desensitized to hurt. I think we are all guilty of reading about a horrible car crash or murder or natural disaster and thinking, "Gee, that is so sad." But by later in the day, we've moved on and don't even think about the repercussions following those tragedies, unless they happen to us directly.

Today, lovers all over the world celebrate Valentine's Day. For many of those we serve, this will be the first Valentine's Day without their beloved. It will be a day of pain...a day of remembering...a day we wish would hurry up and disappear. Those "firsts" that you have to go through (not, ignore)are very difficult and seem like fuel is being added to the fire for many.

Others are enjoying the day and planning for ways to honor their someone special while you may be pulling the covers over your head as you cry your eyes out. That is OK. That is normal. Grief is a process...a long and difficult journey to go through.

So my wish for you on this day of love, is that you know that you are loved. Even if you feel completely alone and ache for your loved one, you are thought about by those of us at MADD. You are thought about by one who has walked in your shoes...me.


DyannaJoy said...

Thank you for allowing us a space to express our TRUE feelings. While today I can honestly enjoy Valentines Day as I can now honor ALL the LOVE I have ever received in this life, how well I remember those first YEARS after the loss of my daughter. And how painful every good thing in my life was for YEARS because she was not here with us too. So it is not just the firsts, but the seconds, the thirds, the fourths, the fifths, and on that forever leave a hole in hearts because our beloveds are no longer here with us on this earth. To add to our pain of course is that they were taken in a way that was 100% preventable! There is NO REASON why they should not be here with us. Only one persons CHOICE took them from our lives. But they cannot destroy the love. This is why I celebrate Valentines Day today. I honor the LOVE my beloved daughter brought into my heart that will be there forever and always. And for the Love I still have here on this earth with me I am forever thankful. It is because of the LOVE I was given that makes me strong and here today. Yes and Thank you. I Love you Andrea Vaughn and I still feel your LOVE in every beat of my heart!

halloween1dnll said...

Thank You so much for those words. It is so true that people read about tragedy in the newspaper or hear about the loss of someone's loved one on the news and you may think about it for the day and then it's forgotten. I used to be one of those people, now I am one of those people that have lossed a love one to a drunk driver, my beloved son Ric Palmer. I can still remember when Ric was alive a story was on the news about a local boy walking home from a convenient store and a drunk driver killed him he was only 17 y.o. I remember going down the road that this poor kid had been killed on and I had my son in the car and we stopped at the sight where he had died and it had teddy bears and other reminders left there, and I turned and looked at my son and said I am so lucky that I have you and please be careful out there because I just couldn't live if something were to happen to you and I gave him a hug all the while I was thinking that those things only happen in the news not to people I know and definitely not to me or my children. That was in May 2004 and in Sept 2004 my son was killed by a drunk driver. I was very wrong. So you see I have been on both sides and I do understand that people go on with their lives after reading about such tragedy's I how ever did not die after the lose of my son some how you just go on, but the joy and any happiness that I use to feel in waking up everyday is now gone. I just exist now in what feels like a big lonely black hole,and the key word is just existing not living! And please most importantly it doesn't just happen in the news and can happen in your family tooso please be kind if you cross paths on a holiday or just any old day with someone that seems very sad or lonely take a minute out of your day to just say "hi" and give a smile it may make a difference to that person at that moment. Sometimes we think that when someone comes across as being what people label "hard to get along with, or mean" try to remember maybe they are one of the the family members left behind in one of those tragic stories that you read or heard.

car50 said...

I have a boss that leaves work every other shift with a beer in his hand and drives home to his wife and daughter. What can i do?