September 12, 2011


Children reciting names
Exclaiming love to eternity
Engraving names in granite
Fingers tenderly stroking a name
Hands gently laid on a name
Wishing they were caressing
Hearts longing

Rose buds adorning stone
Tears falling on stone
Water falling over stone
Never forgetting
Forever loving

I saw a widow of a person killed on 9/11 being interviewed last week, in anticipation of the ten-year anniversary of that dark day.   As tears ran down her face while describing her husband and how much she misses him, the reporter asked with a bit of surprise, “It still hurts after all this time?”  

Hurting just below the surface, after “all” this time, for a lifetime 
Darkness eventually lifting 
Sunshine and smiles happening again
Holding them in our hearts perpetually
Missing them without end
Loving them ceaselessly

My daughter, Alisa, was killed by a drunk driver.  When she was a toddler, we used to say goodnight with these exchanges, “I love you sooo much.”  “Well, I love you to the sky.”  “Well, I love you to the clouds.”  “I love you to the moon.”  “I love you to heaven.”  “Well, I love you past heaven.” 

One night, little Alisa exclaimed, “Well, I love you to ‘finity!”  I decided not to even try to top that!  I was amazed she even knew the word infinity, let alone what it meant.   So, that is now our family saying when we say goodbye to one another:  “I love you to ‘finity.”  

As we say their names, let us shout, I LOVE YOU TO ‘FINITY!


Barbara J. Reboratti said...

Beautiful, Jan! Thank you for giving a voice to bereaved moms [and dads] for our children killed by drunk drivers.

Allison's Mom

Nana said...

I love you to infinity Dustin "Rooster" Ferguson. It will soon be the anniversary of your death and your birthday. Love Nana

Jeanne M. Kolesar said...

My Son Kevin Michael Kolesar, age 17 was killed by a an OVI juvenile on June 16, 2011. When he was a toddler, I read him "Good Night Moon" every night. After we finished the book I would tell him that I loved him all the way around the world and right back home again. Once he asked if I ever got lost on my way back. I told him that I just followed his smile. His INFAMOUS smile is now his legacy. . . Jeanne M. Kolesar

Larry and Joyce said...

We grieve for all who have been senselessly killed by a drunk driver. We have seen it, first-hand, for ourselves on June 23, 2011 as our long-time friends' son was killed by a drunk driver on our son's 21st Birthday.
Please get involved and help MADD in any way you can.

Larry & Joyce McClish