With all the loss in the world, we get desensitized to hurt. I think we are all guilty of reading about a horrible car crash or murder or natural disaster and thinking, "Gee, that is so sad." But by later in the day, we've moved on and don't even think about the repercussions following those tragedies, unless they happen to us directly.
Today, lovers all over the world celebrate Valentine's Day. For many of those we serve, this will be the first Valentine's Day without their beloved. It will be a day of pain...a day of remembering...a day we wish would hurry up and disappear. Those "firsts" that you have to go through (not, ignore)are very difficult and seem like fuel is being added to the fire for many.
Others are enjoying the day and planning for ways to honor their someone special while you may be pulling the covers over your head as you cry your eyes out. That is OK. That is normal. Grief is a process...a long and difficult journey to go through.
So my wish for you on this day of love, is that you know that you are loved. Even if you feel completely alone and ache for your loved one, you are thought about by those of us at MADD. You are thought about by one who has walked in your shoes...me.
Showing posts with label Laura Dean-Mooney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laura Dean-Mooney. Show all posts
February 14, 2011
January 10, 2011
Too Drunk??
In Saturday's Washington Post there was an article about the DADSS (Driver Alcohol Detection System for Safety) and the potential technologies that NHTSA and the
Automotive Coalition for Traffic Safety (ACTS) are looking into. Check it out at the link above...
Basically, two types of technologies are being explored to find out if they will work accurately, reliably and not hassle those of us who never drive drunk. These technologies might include a set of sensors in the car that would detect if you were at a .08 BAC+ in less than a SECOND! If you were, your car would not be drivable. It is also important to point out that these devices must aim to function without maintenance for at least 10 years and be inexpensive.
Rob Strassburger of the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers said it best: "We want the public to understand the need (for this potentially lifesaving equipment)and how they benefit."
We've all got to spread the word and let the public know that this potential technology is a very good thing and has the potential to save over 8,000...8,000 lives! We need Congress to put about $12M/per year into this. That is cheap compared to the cost of drunk driving currently. If you get a minute, please go to www.madd.org and take action by asking your member of Congress to support the ROADS SAFE act.
Automotive Coalition for Traffic Safety (ACTS) are looking into. Check it out at the link above...
Basically, two types of technologies are being explored to find out if they will work accurately, reliably and not hassle those of us who never drive drunk. These technologies might include a set of sensors in the car that would detect if you were at a .08 BAC+ in less than a SECOND! If you were, your car would not be drivable. It is also important to point out that these devices must aim to function without maintenance for at least 10 years and be inexpensive.
Rob Strassburger of the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers said it best: "We want the public to understand the need (for this potentially lifesaving equipment)and how they benefit."
We've all got to spread the word and let the public know that this potential technology is a very good thing and has the potential to save over 8,000...8,000 lives! We need Congress to put about $12M/per year into this. That is cheap compared to the cost of drunk driving currently. If you get a minute, please go to www.madd.org and take action by asking your member of Congress to support the ROADS SAFE act.
December 1, 2010
December
December...the most wonderful time of the year? For many victim/survivors December isn't the most wonderful time of the year.
I remember well the December of 1991. My husband, Mike, had just been killed in late November and then all of the sudden--everywhere I turned it seemed--people were jovial, celebrating, shopping, and going to parties. I wanted to shout, "Hey, don't you see what I'm going through?? How can you be so happy around me?" I went to the local mall because I felt like I had to buy our daughter something for Christmas. I wasn't there very long at all when I felt like I was being smothered...like I was having a panic attack. I had to leave.
Of course these strangers didn't know what was going on inside of me. I looked like any other young Mom at the mall. But inside, the grief was excruciating.
And so here we are in December. Many victims of drunk driving crashes are going through just what I went through. Yes, it may have been years ago when their loved one was killed by a drunk driver, but they are still hurting. Or, it may have been since last December that their loved one was killed and this is the first holiday season without them. And seeing people having fun hurts them. They wish their son/daughter/mom/dad/other loved one was with them to usher in the shopping season or eat cookies or decorate their home. And the reminder of how they died is brought to the surface once again.
Take time to breathe and reflect this December. And remember, this will be behind us in 30 days.
I remember well the December of 1991. My husband, Mike, had just been killed in late November and then all of the sudden--everywhere I turned it seemed--people were jovial, celebrating, shopping, and going to parties. I wanted to shout, "Hey, don't you see what I'm going through?? How can you be so happy around me?" I went to the local mall because I felt like I had to buy our daughter something for Christmas. I wasn't there very long at all when I felt like I was being smothered...like I was having a panic attack. I had to leave.
Of course these strangers didn't know what was going on inside of me. I looked like any other young Mom at the mall. But inside, the grief was excruciating.
And so here we are in December. Many victims of drunk driving crashes are going through just what I went through. Yes, it may have been years ago when their loved one was killed by a drunk driver, but they are still hurting. Or, it may have been since last December that their loved one was killed and this is the first holiday season without them. And seeing people having fun hurts them. They wish their son/daughter/mom/dad/other loved one was with them to usher in the shopping season or eat cookies or decorate their home. And the reminder of how they died is brought to the surface once again.
Take time to breathe and reflect this December. And remember, this will be behind us in 30 days.
November 17, 2010
Day of Remembrance
This coming Sunday, November 21, I'll remember my late husband, Mike Dean, who was killed on this day in 1991 at the young age of 32. I think of him everyday as I do my work for MADD, but the anniversary is a bittersweet day of remembrance.
The world will also mark November 21 this year as the World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims (WDOR). This is the fifth year of setting aside the 3rd Sunday in November to honor all those who are killed in road traffic crashes. Some 1.3 million people lose their lives each year in traffic crashes worldwide.
The United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon released a statement containing these words:
"Many tragedies can be avoided through a set of proven, simple measures that benefit not only individuals and families but society at large.
Recognition is growing about the critical development and public health challenge posed by road traffic deaths and injuries. This greater awareness has prompted governments and their partners to step up their response. Earlier this year, the UN General Assembly declared the first-ever “Decade of Action for Road Safety,” providing an opportunity for global action.
I call on Member States, international agencies, civil society organizations, businesses and community leaders to ensure that the Decade leads to real improvements. As a step in this direction, governments should release their national plans for the Decade when it is launched globally on 11 May 2011."
Drunk driving is one of the leading causes of roadway deaths and it is 100% preventable. Please do your part by never driving drunk, buckling up and keeping your eyes only on the road.
If you wish to mark the WDOR, you can go to their Web site (link above) for more ideas. Safe travels!
The world will also mark November 21 this year as the World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims (WDOR). This is the fifth year of setting aside the 3rd Sunday in November to honor all those who are killed in road traffic crashes. Some 1.3 million people lose their lives each year in traffic crashes worldwide.
The United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon released a statement containing these words:
"Many tragedies can be avoided through a set of proven, simple measures that benefit not only individuals and families but society at large.
Recognition is growing about the critical development and public health challenge posed by road traffic deaths and injuries. This greater awareness has prompted governments and their partners to step up their response. Earlier this year, the UN General Assembly declared the first-ever “Decade of Action for Road Safety,” providing an opportunity for global action.
I call on Member States, international agencies, civil society organizations, businesses and community leaders to ensure that the Decade leads to real improvements. As a step in this direction, governments should release their national plans for the Decade when it is launched globally on 11 May 2011."
Drunk driving is one of the leading causes of roadway deaths and it is 100% preventable. Please do your part by never driving drunk, buckling up and keeping your eyes only on the road.
If you wish to mark the WDOR, you can go to their Web site (link above) for more ideas. Safe travels!
October 25, 2010
A chapter in my life closes
Nineteen years ago next month, my life changed forever. Last Wednesday, October 20, a chapter in my life was permanently closed when as I held her hand, my first mother-in-law, Gwende Dean, died at age 75.
Drunk driving effects more than just those killed or injured in the crash. It effects everyone in the extended circle for years and years. Especially when the one killed was an only child.
My husband, Mike Dean, was that only child who was killed in a crash on November 21, 1991 at the young age of 32. Mike and his mom were close since she had raised him as a single mom. At the time of Mike's death, we had only been married two and a half years and our daughter was only 8 months old. Immediately following his death, I became her replacement child and I felt a great obligation to look after her. I have tried to do that for the last nineteen years.
When Gwende was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2007 and later with a small brain tumor, we knew the prognosis was fatal. She fought valiantly and never complained. Her goal was to see our daughter finish high school. She did live to see that, although she was too weak to attend the ceremony.
My family moved back to Texas earlier this year in some part to be closer to her as her life slipped away. Many trips were made to visit with her before she got to the point where she couldn't talk or use her motor skills any longer. Calls were made frequently to check with her caregiver to see how she was doing.
When I received the call on Oct. 17 that she had stopped taking food or water, I packed my car for the 4 hour drive north to her home. For over two days I sat beside her bed and read her the sports page because her team, the Texas Rangers, were finally in the ALCS playoffs. I had the TV on to the game last Monday evening in case she might hear any of it even though she was semi-comatose. I wanted her to know that her team was going to the World Series for the first time ever--so much so, that I told her they were in the Series even though they weren't at that point!
Gwende, or G.G. as we affectionately called her, breathed her last breath and stepped into eternity at 9:55 a.m. last Wednesday. She was finally reunited with her son--the one she loved and had missed so desperately for the last 19 years!
People who choose to drive drunk never consider how lives are impacted. They never stop to think that a Mom had to live with the grief of losing her only child. They never stop to think about a little girl who never had a chance to know her daddy Mike. They never stop to think that the ultimate stress that is put on a body through the grief process might--I believe DID--lead to cancer in a grieving mother.
Grief regurgitated...grief re-lived. A chapter in our lives has closed with the death of Gwende Dean. May she finally rest in peace.
Drunk driving effects more than just those killed or injured in the crash. It effects everyone in the extended circle for years and years. Especially when the one killed was an only child.
My husband, Mike Dean, was that only child who was killed in a crash on November 21, 1991 at the young age of 32. Mike and his mom were close since she had raised him as a single mom. At the time of Mike's death, we had only been married two and a half years and our daughter was only 8 months old. Immediately following his death, I became her replacement child and I felt a great obligation to look after her. I have tried to do that for the last nineteen years.
When Gwende was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2007 and later with a small brain tumor, we knew the prognosis was fatal. She fought valiantly and never complained. Her goal was to see our daughter finish high school. She did live to see that, although she was too weak to attend the ceremony.
My family moved back to Texas earlier this year in some part to be closer to her as her life slipped away. Many trips were made to visit with her before she got to the point where she couldn't talk or use her motor skills any longer. Calls were made frequently to check with her caregiver to see how she was doing.
When I received the call on Oct. 17 that she had stopped taking food or water, I packed my car for the 4 hour drive north to her home. For over two days I sat beside her bed and read her the sports page because her team, the Texas Rangers, were finally in the ALCS playoffs. I had the TV on to the game last Monday evening in case she might hear any of it even though she was semi-comatose. I wanted her to know that her team was going to the World Series for the first time ever--so much so, that I told her they were in the Series even though they weren't at that point!
Gwende, or G.G. as we affectionately called her, breathed her last breath and stepped into eternity at 9:55 a.m. last Wednesday. She was finally reunited with her son--the one she loved and had missed so desperately for the last 19 years!
People who choose to drive drunk never consider how lives are impacted. They never stop to think that a Mom had to live with the grief of losing her only child. They never stop to think about a little girl who never had a chance to know her daddy Mike. They never stop to think that the ultimate stress that is put on a body through the grief process might--I believe DID--lead to cancer in a grieving mother.
Grief regurgitated...grief re-lived. A chapter in our lives has closed with the death of Gwende Dean. May she finally rest in peace.
July 1, 2008
From Tragedy to Triumph: Laura Dean-Mooney Named MADD National President
Every month, 1,000 families must deal with the tragic consequences of losing a loved one to drunk driving. Newly announced MADD National President Laura Dean-Mooney knows the reality of that statistic all too well. Nearly 17 years ago, a drunk driver killed her husband Mike, leaving her to raise their 8-month old daughter, Tara, alone. Laura has used her devastating experiences to help prevent others from facing death or injury as a result of drunk driving, donating her time and talents to MADD. Read Laura's story.
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